Trashterpiece Theater Presents:
Stacey Longo’s BEST FILMS OF 2017
By Stacey Longo
This past year was remarkable, in that I barely made it to the theater. However, in today’s technological era, I only had to wait a few weeks before the latest blockbuster made it to iTunes, ensuring I could watch the latest titles without leaving the comfort of my own home. Thank you, Steve Jobs.
Sadly, though, IT isn’t on iTunes yet, and I haven’t mustered up the energy to go see THE LAST JEDI, so my list is two shy of ten this year (I’m assuming these two would have filled it out to a full ten). Also, I’m not allowed to add television shows to this list, but Jon Bernthal as THE PUNISHER might be the best thing that’s happened all year.
With no further ado, here’s my Top Eight of 2017:
- SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING
I’ll admit I’m getting tired of the Spidey reboots, but this one was entertaining.
- KONG: SKULL ISLAND
Haters gonna hate, but I enjoyed the hell out of this film.
- JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
I’m sure there were other people in this besides Dwayne Johnson, but their names escape me right now. Did I mention Dwayne Johnson?
- ARBOR DEMON
Though this came out in 2016, I discovered it in 2017, and had the pleasure of reviewing it back in April. It’s got horror, it’s got tension, it’s got creepy Jake Busey; what more could a girl ask for?
- GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2
It was fun, it was funny, and if there’s one thing I truly love, it’s wrestlers-turned-actors (see “Dwayne Johnson” above). This delivers on all counts in the form of Dave Bautista.
- THOR: RAGNAROK
A pretty blond man in a skirt, Dr. Strange, Tom Hiddleston, and the Hulk. Add in Bruce Banner sporting a Duran Duran T-shirt through half the movie, and there was no way this wasn’t going to make my top three.
- WONDER WOMAN
Finally, after multiple misfires, Warner Brothers finally gave a DC character a good movie. And there is none more deserving than Wonder Woman.
I found myself in the theater getting misty-eyed when Diana rescued Steve from drowning, because it was the first time in my life I’d seen a woman rescue a man on the big screen by physically pulling him out of danger. Shame on our society. But thank you, director Patty Jenkins, and Gal Gadot, for doing right by my childhood hero.
- THOR: RAGNAROK
Before you start crying foul because this is listed twice, let me explain. About a month ago, my fifteen-year-old nephew mentioned he’d like to see this movie. He’s made comments like this before, but this time, this one magical time, he agreed to go with me. I’d already been to THOR three days earlier, but I didn’t care: my fifteen-year-old nephew was allowing himself to be seen in public with his weird aunt. We shared popcorn. He called me old when I pointed out the Duran Duran shirt. He made a face when I referred to Chris Hemsworth as “yummy.” And these reasons alone make THOR: RAGNAROK the single best movie of all time—or, if not that, at least to appear twice on a “Best of 2017” list.
© Copyright 2017 by Stacey Longo Harris